During the early years of your marriage, you may have celebrated every occasion and milestone in your relationship. It can be as significant as your wedding anniversary or as simple as the first time you went out on a date as a couple. However, over the years, it is easy to lose sight of these seemingly trivial matters. But are they really trivial at all?
Married life is nothing like those first months into your relationship. The anticipation of those midnight texts and calls, the exhilaration of those spontaneous dates, and the mystery as you get to know your partner make new relationships more exciting. However, as years go by, familiarity and comfort sink in.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with feeling comfortable with the person you love. Your partner mostly finds your unique quirks adorable anyway. While being comfortable is okay, being complacent is another thing.
When you get too comfortable and too confident in your partner’s love and devotion, it is easy to fall into complacency. You begin to take for granted what your partner does for you, as they become routine and ordinary parts of your life. You also stop making efforts to make your partner happy.
The first time he made you breakfast, it made you so happy that you couldn’t wipe the grin off your face for the rest of the day. Now that they are doing it every day, you brush off their efforts as something of the ordinary. The only time you realize how much it meant to you is when your partner finally stops doing it.
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Stop Complacency Before It Creeps into Your Relationship
Leaving your marriage to chance is like dooming it to fail. Your marriage is your responsibility and no one else’s. You can blame the economy, your job, or even the pandemic on the failure of your marriage. While it is true that external factors can have adverse effects and add stress to your relationships, you still have the power to do something.
The most important step in stopping complacency from ruining your marriage is to become aware of the signs and the situation. Once you realize that you are slipping into the pattern of taking your partner and your relationship for granted, you can take steps to rekindle the spark in your marriage.
Marital problems are nothing to be ashamed of. Other couples have them too. However, how you deal with these problems is totally up to you.
Celebrate Your Marriage Milestones
Remember when you used to celebrate every anniversary? You either go on a romantic date or a weekend holiday. You were ready to drop everything that you do and celebrate your marriage together, just the two of you.
However, as years go by, couples usually stop celebrating anniversaries. In the early years of your marriage, you usually find the smallest reasons to celebrate your love for each other. As the realities of married and family life settle in, these celebrations become less frequent, until celebrating them becomes a chore.
While you used to find reasons to celebrate everything together, you now have all the reasons why you cannot even go on a date. You and your spouse need to celebrate your love. It can be a simple movie night or a romantic home-cooked dinner on your patio. Do not just stop there. Surprise your spouse with a bouquet of their favorite blooms or favorite perfume. You can get personalized anniversary rings and remind yourselves of the vows that you made years ago. Celebrating your love reminds you of the things that are keeping you together. It also allows you to show your love and appreciation for one another.
Create New Marriage Traditions
If things are becoming predictable, shake things up to keep the spark alive. While routines are an important part of your lives, a little excitement now and then can be useful for your relationship. If you usually have dinner at your favorite steakhouse every weekend, why not go to different restaurants that serve different cuisines? You can try new foods that you both have not tried before.
Trying new things together creates new memories and shared experiences. It brings you closer together and strengthens your bond as husband and wife.
While you may have your go-to summer destination every summer, make it a point to visit new places together. The feeling of adventure and excitement can make the experience more meaningful and memorable for both of you.
Celebrate Each Other’s Success
Most of the time, people are busy pointing out what’s wrong. The same can be said in marriage. To make a marriage work, both spouses must exert effort to make it work and make each other happy. Celebrate the happiness and triumph of each other. Be each other’s most ardent supporter instead of being too critical.
Achievements, no matter how small, should be celebrated. It can be as simple as meeting a fitness goal or learning how to drive. The next time that your spouse achieves a goal, celebrate their triumph together.
Staying in love in a marriage is a choice. Love is an action word, and if you want to be happy together, you have to be proactive in making your relationship stronger and happier.